well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.