Texts From Last Night

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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome

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  (610): the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome http://tfl.nu/8iag
  Replies (4) Good night (1691) Bad night (666)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.

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  (678): Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting. http://tfl.nu/d568
  Replies (14) Good night (3356) Bad night (779)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.

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  (706): the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not. http://tfl.nu/av9b
  Replies (10) Good night (5642) Bad night (815)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!

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  (631): Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade! http://tfl.nu/mpw5
  Replies (30) Good night (788) Bad night (3786)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.

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  (520): Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents. http://tfl.nu/dtw6
  Replies (5) Good night (4423) Bad night (1324)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito

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  (313): then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito http://tfl.nu/szdu
  Replies (33) Good night (4948) Bad night (825)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.

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  (713): Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming. http://tfl.nu/lyy1
  Replies (27) Good night (2945) Bad night (1765)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?

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  (901): Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow? http://tfl.nu/gguq
  Replies (8) Good night (996) Bad night (2832)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am

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  (240): seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am http://tfl.nu/z6p6
  Replies (7) Good night (2737) Bad night (992)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?

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  (623): Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub? http://tfl.nu/jp28
  Replies (5) Good night (2272) Bad night (905)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.

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  (804): I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary. http://tfl.nu/ps0w
  Replies (6) Good night (1566) Bad night (795)
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  (718): View more from New York

  We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas

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  (718): We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas http://tfl.nu/oj71
  Replies (2) Good night (749) Bad night (371)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible

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  (570): I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible http://tfl.nu/bjuj
  Replies (1) Good night (263) Bad night (512)
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  (273): View more from

  Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure

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  (273): Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure http://tfl.nu/2kl0
  Replies (2) Good night (394) Bad night (168)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick

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  (514): I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick http://tfl.nu/2mcj
  Replies (2) Good night (334) Bad night (210)

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