Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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