Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?