I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes