I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
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apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
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So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle