hell yes lets make some ravioli
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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