my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
OPIZZABONMYDICK
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
