That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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