He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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