Having a random hookup so left but love u
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Two words: blizzard sex
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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