I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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