remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
