can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
