I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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