In America we eat man semen.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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