party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
