wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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