new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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