East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
My bed smells like the plague
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
