"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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