this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
