We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
pray to the hookup gods
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
