4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
