How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
