Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
