That's intense
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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