I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
