We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
