you would pick up someone in the library
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
