I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
