There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
