she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm like, not good at living.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
