I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize
