normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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