You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
