i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
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