Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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