I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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