hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
