So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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