Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
