so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Randomize
