toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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