You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
