If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
