he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Randomize
