I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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