So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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