Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
