so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Randomize
