Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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