we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
