It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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