I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Randomize
