you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
two words: eviction party
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
