Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
