I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
