So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
