I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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