if i can run in heels then i can drive
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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